Hiding out

Some days I want to fade into the background and for some reason I end up being drafted into the spotlight.  In high school, our senior class t-shirt stole the Cheers motto, "Where everyone knows your name."  Ironically I graduated with 470-something people and I did not know all of their names.  In fact, there were quite a few students who walked across that stage who I had never laid eyes on before in my life.  They must have taken Latin, woodshop, and computer classes.

Do you ever want to just disappear?  On trying days I am very tempted to hide under my desk and take a nap.  I have yet to actually follow through with that, but I've threatened to.

But even on the days that I feel like being a nobody in a crowd, I am still always a somebody to God.  Your value comes from Him because He created you.  You are made in His image (that should boost your self-image) (Gen 1:26).  You are God's child and heir (Gal 4:7).  You are God's firstfruits, his most prized creation (James 1:18).  How good to know that we are treasured!

Tossing More Cookies

Do I attract this stuff?  Is it magnetic?

Today during the Lord's Prayer, the little boy right in front of me lost his breakfast.  He was smack dab in the middle of the row and his mom's best effort?  Her open purse.  EWW.

To his credit, I had previously passed judgment on his parents for letting him lie down during the praise choruses.  Parent, people, parent.  Be involved and take charge!  Then he threw up and was greener than the mold growing on the leftovers in my fridge.  So then I passed judgment on his parents for letting him come to church in the first place.

I think that fills the vomit quota for blog topics this year.

Also, this game is real.  It retails for $11.95 at a toy store near you.

The White House and Puke

Yes, you read that correctly.  Monday I had the pleasure of chasing six fourth graders all over the White House Front Lawn.  I never had any inclination towards parenting multiples, but I now have even less of a inclination.  Also, I will not give my children names with the same letter.  It might sound nice in theory, but three of my wards had names beginning with "J" and two with an "H" sound.  I don't know how many times I said, "Sorry. Yes I KNOW your name is ______.  Don't wander!!!"

For those of you who have never experienced the White House Easter Egg Roll, picture this: 30,000 children and adults trampling the Front Lawn.  Kids shrieking to Willow Smith in concert.  Every possible Nickelodeon or PBS character in costume.  A Chinchilla rapping about hula hoops, soccer moms, and bullying.  86 degrees of relentless heat with no shade.

At one point, my least trying student "D" mentioned to me that her stomach hurt.  "Keep drinking water.  I know it's really hot out here."  She mentioned it again and I encouraged her to just get to the exit where we could sit in the shade and have some fresh air.  (Insert dark, ominous cloud and accompanying eerie organ music of what is to come...)

We creeped towards the free Peeps and commemorative egg table at the exit.  Guess which one they were more excited about?  "He didn't even sign it himself!?!?!?!"  "Do you remember how many people are here today?"  "30,000."  "Do you think President Obama has time to sign it 30,000 times?"  "(Sigh)  No.  (Pause)  Can I eat my Peeps now?"

And then, I felt a pull on my shirt.  And my foot. got. a. bath.  In throw up.

Everything in me wanted to scream, "AUUUUUUGHHHHH.  That is SOOOOOO disgusting. Ew. Ew. EWWWWWWW."  Instead I calmly said, "You're ok.  MY GROUP?  ON THE GRASS.  NOW."  My poor student continued to empty her stomach, but this time I moved my foot.

We moved over to the side of the crowd and someone brought her a cold bottle of water.  I made sure she was ok and then asked the others for any extra water they had.  "Do you want the really full bottle or the half-full one?"  "I don't care.  Either."  "Which one?"  "You pick.  Just give me one now."  He handed it over and watched as I immediately poured it all over my foot.

"Oh," he breathed in understanding.  Life with elementary schoolers has made me considerably less germaphobic.

For Love of You

You live in a million places
Your fingerprints can be seen on a million faces
and there's a trace of You
in every halleluia
every song that I sing

and for love of You
I'm a sky on fire
and because of You
I come alive
and it's Your Sacred Heart within me beating
Your voice within me singing out
For love of You - oh - for the Love of You

by Audrey Assad

Animal DIS-Orders

Ms. A, are leprechauns part of the cat family?

Do you mean leopards?

Oh.  Yeah.  Leopards.